Walter Brzeski, Bears Superfan

Well, the best thing about wearing the bag on my head is if I start hyperventilating, I can just adjust, pull it off my head and breathe into it. I wish the Bears could make easy adjustments on offense like I can with the bag.

Unfortunately, when the offensive coordinator (RON TURNER) starts criticizing his team's performance on 1st down, it's an indication he has lost control or doesn't seem to know what his team is good at doing. The offense is the 'weak-link' of the team and has a lot of problems:

1. An old and injured line that hasn't been getting off the ball, working together, and setting the tone.

Rueben Brown has played more like Charlie Brown (www.sundaymorningqb.com)
John Tait like the Toxic Avenger (www.http://toxicavenger.8m.com/imagegal.htm)
Roberto Garza like a bad wrestler from Nachos Libre (bobular.blogspot.com)
Fred Miller like Fred Sanford (www.tvparty.com )
and Olin Kreutz like Elmer "Which Way Did he Go' Fudd (www.celebrity-link.com)
2. WRs unable to get off the ball fast and into their routes, hold onto to the ball, and get into open pockets of the defense.

3. TEs not blocking and stepping with authority on run blocks, not getting away from defenders quick enough at the LOS, and not getting more YACs.

4. QBs with limited practice/game reps, inability to read and audible out of plays, faling to take what the defense gives them, and standing around waiting to get sacked instead of running for yardage.

5. RBs unable to hold onto the ball, cutback on zone plays, show enough quickness to the outside on runs, and poor pass protection.

6. Offensive Coordinator is extremely poor at: judging talent, bringing any kind of leadership, making adjustments at half and in the 4th quarter, and utilizing his players more effieciently.



KEYS FOR THE QUACKERS GAME: (i-love-cartoons.com)

Phase 1:
OFFENSE: (IMPORTANT: RBs need to hold onto ball, WRs need to catch it,& O-line needs to BLOCK AND PROTECT 100% better than Detroit game!)

1. Ball control and O-line needs to wake up and play well; as the line may feature John St. Clair, Terrence Metcalf, and Mark Levoir because of injuries

2. Allow Griese to spread the ball around, dominate the clock, and nickel and dime down the field; allowing a 'banged-up' Bears defense to rest

3. Audible to outside runs or three step passes when the Quackers jam the guard/center gaps

4. RON TURNER NEEDS TO CALL A GOOD GAME AND FIGURE OUT WHAT HIS TEAM CAN/CAN'T DO

5. 2 or less turnovers

Phase 2:
DEFENSE:(IMPORTANT: PRESSURE, COVER, PRESSURE, COVER)
1. Expect Brett Favre to throw it up 40+ times, limit him to short passes and blanket WRs and TE, force him into turnovers, possibly for TDs
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FACTOID ALERT:
The media has been making a big stink about the Bears having a revolving door at QB and Brett Favre being the man in Green Bay for the same period of time. Well, since the advent of color television, both the Bears and Packers have won one Super Bowl and lost one Super Bowl apiece.

A QB can pass for 1,000,000 yards and throw 1,000,000 tds passes (ie. Dan Marino, Fran Tarkenton, and Jim Kelly) But, the ultimate gauge is their ability to win the last game of the year; something Troy Aikman, Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw, Bob Griese, Roger Staubach, John Elway, Jim Plunkett, Bart Starr, and Tom Brady have done more than once in their careers. (www.dallascowboys.com)
Favre may be 'God-like' in Packer-land and will be in the HOF, but, he has the same amount of Super Bowl wins as Jim McMahon, Kurt Warner, Joe Theismann, Doug Williams, Jeff Hostetler, Mark Rypien, Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Phil Simms, and Ben Roethlisberger.
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2. LBs need to take the game into their hands and be dominant

3. D-Line needs to use their quickness and limit penalities

4. Bully Brett Favre....don't miss any opportunity to hit him hard (www.packerssuck.com/packerssuckpics/bears)

5. Force 3 Quackers turnovers (2 for TDs?, 1 for Ricky Manning Jr. and 1 for Mark Anderson),3-4 sacks, 6+tackles for a loss/no gain

Phase 3: (www.packerssuck.com/packerssuckpics/bears)
SPECIAL TEAMS: (MOST IMPORTANT: UPMEN NEED TO RUN KICKS BACK WITH AUTHORITY AND GAIN GOOD FIELD POSITION ON SQUIB KICKS OR CALL FOR A FAIR CATCH)

1. Go after the Quackers punter...force a bad/hurried punts and block more FGs

2. Stay in your coverage lanes and pin them down, force a fumble

3. Make the Quackers avg. starting position = own 18-22 yd. line

4. Brad Maynard needs to keep the ball up and average 40 yds/punt (Don't Outkick Coverage)

5. Robbie Gould needs to kickoff to goaline or within 5 yd. line and hit the all his field goals, as he might get 4-5 opportunities

Phase 4:

FANS:
1. Fans making the trip to Quacker-land need to: Be heard, show your support

2. : Bring some enthusiasm & NOT GET ARRESTED (http://www.fotosearch.com/clip-art/jail.html)

3. : Don't sit on your hands

4. Fans in Chicago need: Not quit and believe

5. : Drown out all Quackers fans at your local watering hole

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If Bears can hit 3/5 on each of these areas, expect:

Bears 27 Quackers 26

If they can't hit 3 of 5, expect a score of: (UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS MOST LIKELY)

Quackers 31 Bears 20
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JOKE OF THE WEEK: On the Bright Side...........
What do you call a QUACKERS fan with half a brain?
Gifted!


REMEMBER WHEN.............THE BEARS WENT INTO QUACKER-VILLE WITH CONFIDENCE (www.packerssuck.com/packerssuckpics/bears)